Catching up

A reader (wow, I have readers.... =0) ) informed me yesterday that she noticed I was falling behind! Wow, someone cared what I was saying. That was a pretty big thing for me. So, here I am. 

In the effort of full disclosure, this has been a pretty rough week or so since I posted last. I haven't eaten well, and my workouts have been sporadic at best. I know we shouldn't have excuses, but it's been an emotionally trying week. We've decided to try to buy a house, because we happened on one we fell in love with. Check this out - I found it a year ago, (yes, 1 yr ago) and absolutely LOVED it! That was the time in my life that I was a pretty bad person. I hid things - financial things, and it was a pretty rough time. There was no way I could point the house out to Brian, b/c that would mean we'd have to talk money, and that was a taboo subject. I had ruined our financial profile, and he had no idea. 

So, we're together emotionally AND financially now. No more secrets! We're on the same page working toward the same goals. We're in a good place. As we were perusing listings for a home, I noticed the home I'd found a year ago was still available! We decided to look into what the house had to offer. We've been inside it and still LOVE it. It's amazing, and in our easily affordable price range. Unfortunately, because of my stupidity, our credit is poor. (All my fault....) 

So, I'm totally in love with the house, and desperately would LOVE to be out of our current place - we need the space! But, on paper, we're risky. We're different people than we were when those things were written down. 

I'm having a very difficult time dealing with the guilt of what I've done, and in my mind how it's ruined my family's future. That's a hard pill to swallow. 

Brian's been amazing. The best and most forgiving husband ever, I think. He never makes me feel guilty and gets angry when I get down on myself. I couldn't ask for better. It hurts that my mistakes are keeping him from getting what he deserves to be able to have and to give to his kids. 

Anyway, we're going to see someone at the bank today. She thinks she MAY be able to help, but it's a long shot. I'll feel a lot better and will be able to focus once we get a for sure (whether YAY or NAY) on the house and whether we'll even be able to move any time in the near future! 

Thanks for reading, and I'm sorry this isn't the weight loss inspirational piece you were hoping to open up!