New Year, New Me

Welcome to 2010, self!

I'm glad to be here, but a little bit nervous about what lies ahead. Ok, so I WASN'T nervous until I got an email from a friend last night about reaching goals in 2010. You know, the goals that I failed to reach in '09? Yeah, that kinda shook me up a bit. Because there were a LOT of goals I didn't reach in '09, and that was kind of hard to face.

1. Didn't blog.
2. Didn't lose weight and get fit.
3. Didn't get my house in order.... and the list goes on!

But you know what? That's ok! I've decided that who I am is not wrapped up in how much weight I've lost or not lost, or how clean my house is or isn't. Who I am is wrapped up in Jesus Christ. No man can condemn me. I am a new creation in Christ. My marriage is a new creation thanks to our Lord and Saviour.

And THAT feels good!

Back to feeling a bit nervous about the year ahead. I'll be turning 30 in August, the 11th to be exact, and, well, I'm not okay with meeting that day as the person who looks back at me in the mirror. That day - where it seems that a mere number will tell me that I'll no longer be young and vibrant - is JUST a day! Yes, it's just another day, and 30 is JUST another number!

BUT, this is IT! I've had it with flaking on myself and my fitness commitments. As it stands now, I do not like what I see in the mirror. What I see is the result of what has now become my past. I'm no longer afraid to wake up in the morning. I AM still unsure of myself, though, because I'm uncomfortable in my own skin.

I don't really care so much any more what OTHER people think of me. I've decided that everyone will always have something he or she doesn't like about me. But having things I don't like about me is not cool.

To get to a new me, I'll be working out and eating clean 6 days a week. Yes, I've tried things in the past, and never stuck with them. But I really think I caved because of all the "life static" that was errupting in my ears and interrupting my groove. I had allowed myself to be pulled in a million different directions. I guess what I've learned is that when you're not centered and focused on the God, you seem to focused on EVERYthing! Boy, that was a hard lesson learned, and such a simple one, too....

So, here's to 2010, and creating a new me -a new me that I want to be. The much smaller me that beams back from the mirror every day. The joyful me that feels great and loves life and has tons of energy to do things with and for my family.