Reasons I deserve a New Me

I've had a rough past couple of days. I want a new me, but how much am I REALLY doing to uncover that person? Not much. I haven't eaten clean, and my workouts have been weak. My heart's not in it - I'm not sure why. I've already decided I have a limited number of days to "get fit and fabulous." I don't want to still be uncomfortable in my skin when I turn 30; I don't want to be uncomfortable in a dress at my little brother's wedding. I don't. I don't. I don't. 

But wanting that is apparently not enough for me to dip deep to give it all I've got. For a long time now, I've lived like a stranger, someone I really didn't know... a person I never thought I'd become. Now that I'm me again, on the inside - that is, my head is ready to change the me that people see on the outside. My heart needs to follow. 

It seems a good Facebook friend has addressed this in her blog at some point. She said "when motivation fails, commitment takes over." 

What am I committed to? I'm committed to Christ and blessed therein. 

                                       I'm irrevocably committed to Brian. 

                                       I'm committed to my boys. 

                                       This spot should be me..... Am I committed to me? I used to be.

There's a skinny, fit person in there that I think everyone deserves to meet. Brian deserves to have a wife who feels good about herself... My boys deserve a mom who loves life and can play and have fun. I DESERVE IT, TOO!!! Why can't I get my head around this?

You know what? Screw this. I sound like a whiny I-don't-know-what. Forget motivation, it'll come later. I'm saying it now. I AM committed to me. Tomorrow is a new day. What I do, I'll be doing for me. I will truly see that I have to take care of myself before I can even THINK of taking care of the rest of my family OR my business. 

So, tomorrow, here I come. Early wake up, Andy to school, followed by a workout, then my Weekly Home Blessing Hour. I WILL check back in. I WILL have good news. I am accountable to this. I know if I'm on it. I know probably no one will read it, but that's ok. It's here for me. I'm here for me.